Shanttel Porras

Prof. Ryder

February 21, 2019

ENGL 21003

If Prompt: when you get to the end of your life, what you will regret not doing?

            Regret is a strong feeling that manifests most strongly at the end. I think every person alive will always regret they couldn’t do more. Our human limit is that there is only so much time we can be alive and only so many hours in a day. Therefore we can’t extend ourselves in all our capacity. This inability to do everything makes us decide between things we need and want and what’s probable.

When I get to end of my life I will regret not having taken care of myself better to have lived longer first of all. Sometimes we put off health of ourselves or don’t bring attention to it, and I have seen how it affects others close to me personally. Our bodies are not expendable and can only stretch so far. Its only when it begins to break down that’s you miss it.

Second will be to not have spent more time with my passed away loved ones. You never fully feel the finality of death unless it strikes to some you see daily in your life and sometimes families are spread out and unfortunately get distanced  over time. When one is on their own deathbed you can really sympathize with those who have passed.

I will likely have regret many actions I will do out of young immaturity. Only in retrospect can we judge ourselves sometimes, but we can never expect our younger selves to predict the future. Definitely in this, is spending more time with family and trying to reconcile instead of just letting conflict pass and not understand each other. Regret is a powerful emotion and we should try to live to our fullest, but even as we are at our end we should always be content with how far we have come from where we started.

Shanttel Porras

Prof. Ryder

March 14, 2019

ENGL 21003

Free Write Prompt: Write about a time you felt like an outsider or witnessed one?

      One way I could say I’ve witnessed someone as an outsider would be my brother and how he lives with a barrier in communicating with others.

      My brother has always lived with the difficulties of autism and it’s many challenges. While he is fortunate enough to be verbal and high functioning he was not always that way and it has been a long road to get there especially for my mom. Even within our own family it’s hard to understand his reasoning and relate to him even now which I know must be frustrating for him. But my family, especially my mom have always shown him unconditional support with whatever triumphs and problems he has faced which sometimes he fails to give her full credit for.

      Autism can have many impacts even in high functioning people especially socially. I remember how in many occasions my brother would be asking my mom why some children wouldn’t play with him or if people would avoid him or pretend to listen to him, and I would always be internally angry when I was younger that he could be treated like that. When I was younger I always tried to stick up for him and help him avoid people who wouldn’t respect him  or treat him well.

My mom had a big role in helping him over come certain stigmatized traits to help him adjust to blend in with society. When was younger had certain behavioral tics where he would react in overwhelmed emotion with hand-flapping jumping, and sudden smiling and losing present focus that would start seeming out of place as he grew older. He even had more negative tics where he would bite his hand when he was younger and had a sensitivity to loud sounds that would overwhelm him. One by one my mom painstakingly helped my brother overcome his overreactions to tics and while his fear of dogs never fully went away he can cope with how he reacts and continues to improve. She did these with the best intentions so he could try live a life just like any other non-autistic child but I’m glad to say he still keeps his internal character and personality that matures however slowly as he grows. Every person’s growth is a work in progress and I’m proud of how far my brother has come and how far my mom got him.